Celtic Banter Archive March 06 2014

06 Mar 2014 19:44:37

I'm no Timalloy or Wee Pat so sorry folks but I'm sitting here bored out my t**s on backshift and came up with this.

Following the collapse of their desperate "state aid" campaign, the rabid and Celtic obsessed followers of Scotland's newest club on hearing about Anthony Stokes upcoming court appearance for assaulting an Elvis impersonator are looking into where Stokes was on the night Elvis died in 1977.

Unelected spokesman for the Sons of Struth Rowing Club (Gourock Branch), Bile McMurder said today

"We have always suspected collusion between Glasgow City Council and Mr Presley regarding the purchase of Graceland and we (Ur ra peepul) have been told that Colonel Tom Parker and a Mr Peter Lawell are both members of the same Opus Dei lodge in Dunreath, Pollokshields, a well known hotbed of terrorist sympathisers.

Presley visited Scotland in 1960 and there has been no explanation why. Our good Queen adoring brothers have discovered that it's no coincidence that Celtic won the European Cup only 7 years AFTER Presley's Scottish visit, we have uncovered Presley used his fame and power to make sure the papish ba... I mean Celtic would win in '67. As a thank you for this Celtic approached the Parkhead Credit Union to give Elvis a favourable interest rate on borrowing to buy Graceland.

Whether Presley chose the name Graceland as a nod to Grace Eveleen Gifford who married Joseph Plunkett in 1916 is not clear but has been suggested by The Mighty Rangers stalwart and bus driver Limmy Bell.

There were fears over Elvis lifestyle and JFK told Peter Lawwell at an IRA fundraiser in or around 1975 that Presley had let it slip to a Miss Monroe about the European Cup carve-up.

We are hoping to send someone to Graceland to check for any fingerprints left over by the Unseen Fenian Hand or Mr Stokes, who is not British by the way and has been spotted shopping in a Co-Op where he was given a FREE carrier bag!

So was Stokes actually buying burgers, peanut butter, bannanas and other junk food from the Co-Op before flying to America to silence Elvis Presley?

{Ed007's Note - You've got far too much time on your hands Che but if you're at work that makes you a paid writer.}

Lucky he doesn't work for me, I would be waiting
for his time sheet to come in then sack
the lazy git.

Tony Bhoy

06 Mar 2014 21:28:25
@ Che it looks like "you are lonesome tonight" hope you are not "crying in the chapel" or being "harum scarum" please "don't be cruel" because "good time Charlie's got the blues" and the sevco fans say about Sally "he'll have to go" they all keep singing "make the world go away" as it is "a mess of blues" down Govan way they are all "kissing cousins" and it could be "the last farewell"
But "I just can't help believing" that "it's Carnival time again" when the sequel to Admin 1 comes along.
So from me to you Che .
LET ME BE YOUR TEDDY BEAR.
Ps sorry ED007 I am bored also!

So bad bhoys it's nearly good. Nearly.

It's a perk of being married to the bosses daughter Tonybhoy. I alternate with my brother in law between backshift and nightshift while my father in law just covers the dayshift. It's mostly just paperwork and making sure the work gets done and if you have a good bunch of workers it helps things run a lot smoother, as you'll know.

Thanks for the invite Timalloy but I just can't be a teddy bear, don't they eventually all turn into zombies?

Hail, hail.

06 Mar 2014 10:48:22
as an ireland and scotland fan i'm getting pretty excited about the upcoming qualifiers and I have to say after last nights games i'm a little more concerned about ireland as opposed to scotland, though I appreciate poland were without Błaszczykowski or Lewandowski.

What do fol reckon are the 2 best starting xi's (assuming everyone fit and willing - ie commons) and which do you think is the better team. my teams are

Ireland: Westwood, O'Shea, Dunne, Wilson, Coleman, Mcgeady, Mccarthy, Brady, Gibson, Hoolahan, Keane

Scotland: Marshall, Bardsley, Martin, Hanley, Mulgrew, Brown, Snodgrass, D Fletcher, Morrison, Commons, McCormack

Both defences are pretty weak and keano is obviously the best striker on show but scotland's midfield probably edges it (tho commons probably won't play). I can see 2 draws which unfortunately will probably give poland the edge.

Gerry I think it's safe to say KC won't play since he retired from International football last year.

For me McGregor edges it in goal. And if like to see Fletcher leading the line. And in the three games I've seen Anya play in I actually think he has to be one of the first names on the team sheet.

I think for the first time in a wee while we have a little bit of strength in depth with a few players I would like to get some play time before/during the Euro campaign.

05 Mar 2014 23:56:31
With all this talk again about creating super leagues, joining the EPL and the rest of the ideas being cast about, it makes me think if I would enjoy such an experience.

I admit European nights are special and something to behold, but this maybe the case as it is a break from the norm for all involved. The glamour would soon wear off when you are playing meaningless games against other teams who have no rivalries or links to your country.

The EPL also a nice thought because of the old us and them mentality and how the English always slate our football;it's always nice to get one over them. But would we really want it week in and week out, the barrage of abuse we would endure of being once again being told to go back to where we came from; have we not heard enough of this throughout our history. Then once we start winning that title year in year out what's next playing in Spain, Germany or any other football league looking to expand.

I am all for revolutionising football but let's do it at home, get the kids back loving the sport, develop them as people and players. Champion a campaign to reintroduce the three foreigner rule and bring so much needed competitiveness back to all professional leagues worldwide.

Money has said to have spoilt the game let's use that same said money to rejuvenate local communities by giving the future of the country something to look forward to. It has been reported the unemployment of young people is so bad that the queue for the dole would stretch 30 miles, how many lost talents could there be standing in that line.

Let's nurture and develop talent from an early age, surely we can develop some better players than some of the dross that drains money out of the game. At the same time helping social and economical problems through the help of football.

Let's keep celtic in Scotland.

Frewbhoy.

Lets do what you said, but with Celtic out of Scotland. European league or EPL for me all the way.

Celtic are going nowhere further in Scotland. We need a fresh challenge and its an exciting prospect to being top class teams week in week out, have a squad of top class players, a substantially higher revenue and better facilities to nurture youth.