Celtic Banter Archive May 24 2012

24 May 2012 21:53:29
"Tomorrow's the 25th May..History was born on that one night & the legend lives on forever more ~ Mrs E"
Yep Istanbul certainly was Mrs.E ;-) Another link between the two clubs though I suppose, both of their finest days coming on May 25.
JFT96
Smithy

Smithy re Istanbul, Rangers fans have a lot in common too as they are all Turkeys..LOL Timalloy

Lol Smithy...That was an absolute crackin night for Liverpool :-) Although, our history being we were the first and now forever a thorn in the side of our neighbours (which is an added bonus) Mrs E

Theres a tube on rangersmedia trying to claim a) that the cup winners cup was superior to the big cup and b) rangers winning it is better than the tic in 67. i occasionally have a shooftie on there for a laugh. this time i split my sides. of course rangers didnt even win the cup to qualify for that comp. we did the double and they got in the back door and of course shamed our country again.
i'll be raising a glass to that great team of 67 tomorrow. hail hail. {Ed007's Note - It's always worth a laugh on there. It's like a social experiment went drastically wrong with entertaining consequences, like The Truman Show.}

Nice one ed. but you cant use the word truman in any context involving rangers. {Ed007's Note - Oops, my bad lol.}

Some ra peepuls stupidity & ignorance knows no bounds...the mess the clubs in, enough said lol. Mrs E

24 May 2012 21:20:28
This was posted on the Gers page.Unreal!

24 May 2012 16:09:55
I find the BBC's claims about D&P hard to believe. If they are just doing their job, they MUST sue BBC to remain credible in their jobs - otherwise they will be proven to be cheats and must be replaced immediately - bold claims indeed. Either way, these fairly wooley BBC accusations do nothing except slow down the process of selling the club. You have to wonder if the BBC are intentionally stirring up suspicion on D&P to slow down the sale? The BBC are very keen on 'conflicts of interest' recently - how about the fact that if Rangers get liquidised, the BBC are in pole position to get a very good deal on the SPL highlights next year - there are still a lot of Celtic fans at home (and in the BBC) who would watch. Also its worth noting that the lawyers representing the SFA against Rangers, are the same lawyers that represent Celtic football club. To be honest, i hope Scottish football does die and Rangers can move to another (better) league without the corruption or 'small man' mentality of all these diddy teams desperate for an old firm pay-day.

Celtic and lawyers (this time) to blame.

Jungle Bhoy.

Do you think that person is so deluded that he now thinks the administrators of the bankrupt rangers are part of the rangers family and must be supported at all costs ?
i think if i put a rangers top on, went down ibrox and stood on a box i could get them to harass anybody i want, simon cowell maybe. lol.

24 May 2012 20:57:45
An ugly mechanic , a tarnished knight of the realm and failed business genius , an ugly pipe smoking porn star talking about buses , a group of highly paid footballers and managers pocketing ill gotten gains corrupt directors , SFA staff and advisors and oh yeah throw in Joanna Lumley and Prince Albert of Monaco...........Steven Spielberg doesn't even have that kind of imagination......DH

24 May 2012 20:07:11
Three guys are drinking champagne in a Glasgow club.
After a while an argument breaks out, and they begin to fight amongst themselves. The first guy grabs his jacket and runs out,
leaving the other two scrapping. Moments later the second guy is knocked unconscious.
The third guy calmly walks to the bar and orders a shot.
What was that all about ask the bar-man.
The third guy, replys, well the first guy was David Murray doing what he does best.
And what about the second guy, asks the bar- man.
Oh, he's Craig Whyte, getting what he deserved.
I don't get it, what's that got to do with you, asks the bar-man.
Well, says the third guy, removing a pipe from his pocket...
When it comes to fecking ugly ****.. I'm the best, and the fight was to prove it!

hail hail

Marco1888

ps stole this from another forum

24 May 2012 19:27:48
hey ed wiz that prog " the men who selt the jerzeys" sponsurd, if so ah waant tae no wer the monie went cos ah dodge ma taxes jist like the next man so ther!. here am jist lookin it a fotie ae june whitfield nae wundur wee watty fired intae hur...........
what what?????
free willy thats wit ah say ed,fk me that zips fkn sore.
here dae ye think thit MRS e looks like may whitfield?

Pat...May Whitfield lol ? Mrs E

24 May 2012 18:58:20
brekkin news oan ebt scotlund,
fae yur ravin reportur "wee pat"
it huz jist been reveeld thit 2 mare peepul huv been acusedv ae hivin the ebt@s ( here ed is that no the shakes) we kin eksclusifly reveel thit ally megrahi, sodum hussane, n gazza gadaffi, wur aw oan the take wae thur ebt's takin the numbur akused tae 127,389 bak tae yuz in the stewdios it coocadins ( the land that time furgoat) hey it leest its haundy, ye kin get the fire brigade ambilunse.n cop shop aw chappin yur door in 3.7 secs, sumtimes even afore yuv foned thum,

24 May 2012 15:47:56
so if big minty wiz chasin joana lumreek that meens wee sally wiz leg humpin jennifur saundurs,n auld watty wiz tryin it oan wae june whitfield, whit whit///////

24 May 2012 15:12:27
I wish everyone would lay off craig whyte he isnt a liar that guy that mentioned prince albert was lying he had got his wires crossed whytey had told him his backer was big albert mcmonigal fae castlemilk,.,.kbarry

Naw kb the prince alburt they wur talkin aboot wiz the boozur.....

24 May 2012 14:33:56
just heard that RFFF to stage a raffle and in keeping with everything it will be called THE RIFF RAFF RAFFLE!!
Timalloy

PS the thinking of a bear, this is True some of my bear pals said in pub,
Gatuso, Novo should "retire" from football, then join RFC (IA) as TRIALISTS for a season, to get round embargo... {Ed007's Note - Rangers can not register ANY players that are 18 or over, there is no way to get round it unless the embargo is lifted. Point them in the direction of Birmingham seeing the are scouring for companies or clubs to use in comparison for everything.}

So yur sayin thit wee gateuxn snatcho ur owur 18??
aw ye meen inchis..

Those two would be about right for div. 3.

LOL - Pals down the pub again.
The Avengers. lol.
Some people "couldnae make this up" but you can Tim.
P.O.B.

24 May 2012 13:40:16
I was looking at the EBT Q&A on the BBC website. this passage made me laugh:

Who set up the EBT scheme for Rangers and the Murray Group?

A former lawyer who advised companies on tax strategy known as Paul Baxendale-Walker. He was struck off the roll of solicitors by a disciplinary tribunal in 2007. Mr Baxendale-Walker is the author of two books on EBT tax strategies and advised Rangers on how to set the scheme up and operate it.

He subsequently became involved in the porn industry, producing, directing and acting in films under the name Paul Chaplin.

Ah no ah ust tae wurk wae the porno guy,
"you mite no me iz wee pat rides agane"
ur "cunfeshuns ae uh posso porno",
ur "wee pat rides wee sally"(striktly owuar 50's only.plus it wiz aw cash in yur haun tae then ah thote ebt's ment extra big t*ts
qba ment kwality big arsis( agane wee sally sterred iz the big arses,
bbc stauns fur big breestit chinese!
here wecood only dae wan ae thum,n that wiz wae bill ng,bless um,
no furgettin "mad wae minty volume 9"
ur wee craigo rides duff n duffur,the list is longur thin ma bog roll,ah also used tae get brad pit tae dae ma arse double

Fraud/Porn both shafting!

24 May 2012 12:00:01
here ed ah jist bumpd intae big marvin andrews ootside the rab roy club, n wen ah asked um aboot his ebt he sade thit he hisnae goat ah lisunce tae watch it
n aboot the dual contracts he sade it wis gods waey ,
insidentully he sade thit god goat mer thun wee bazza fergie,cos he made um, ah sade naw marv ah think yul find thit wee bazzo wiz made wae ma wee pal be elssitub who goat the maist oot ae aw the the wee bak haunurs.eftur aw it wiz awhiz idea in the furst plaice.....

24 May 2012 10:17:57
Alan Hutton
Hutton made his debut in 2002 and featured in 94 Rangers games, before a £9m move to Spurs.
£364,000
No

Alex McLeish
McLeish managed Rangers from 2001-06. He won seven major honours at the club.
£1.7m
Yes


Alex Rae
Midfielder who arrived at Ibrox in 2004 and spent two years there. He played 34 games and scored once.
£569,000
Yes

Andrei Kanchelskis
Russian winger arrived from Fiorentina in 1998 for £5.5m. Moved four years later to Southampton.
£145,000
No


Andrew Dickson
Head of football administration at Rangers since 2003. Previously financial controller at Ibrox club.
£33,000
No

Arthur Numan
Dutch full-back arrived at Rangers from PSV Eindhoven in 1998 for £4.5m. Played 118 times.
£510,000
Yes


Barry Ferguson
Former youth player who became Rangers captain. Played at Ibrox from 1996-2003 and 2005-2009.
£2.5m
Yes

Bert Konterman
Dutch defender signed by Dick Advocaat for £4.5m in 2000. Played 79 matches for Rangers.
£300,000
No


Bert Van Lingen
Bert Van Lingen was Rangers assistant manager under Dick Advocaat from 1998 to 2002.
£65,000
No

Billy Dodds
Scotland international arrived in a £1.5m deal from Dundee United. Scored 21 goals in four years.
£190,000
No


Bob Malcolm
Central defender started his career with Rangers in 1997. Played 88 games. Left for Derby County in 2006.
£125,000
No

Campbell Ogilvie
At club from 1978 to 2005 as general secretary and later a director. Now president of the SFA.
£95,000
No


Carlos Cuellar
Spanish centre-half arrived from Osasuna in deal worth £2.37m in 2007. Moved to Aston Villa in 2008.
£448,255
Yes

Chris Burke
Started career at Rangers, playing 96 games from 2002-2009. Left for Cardiff City. Now with Birmingham City.
£55,000
No


Christian Nerlinger
German midfielder signed from Borrusia Dortmund in 2001 and left in 2004. Now has role at Bayern Munich.
£1.8m
Yes

Claudio Caniggia
Argentinian World Cup finalist signed from Dundee for £1m in 2001. He played 50 times for Rangers.
£1m
No


Craig Moore
Australian centre-half played more than 90 games from 1994-1998. Returned in 1999 and stayed until 2005.
£1.1m
Yes

Dado Prso
Croatian striker was free transfer in 2004. Scored 50 goals in 108 games. Left for Dinamo Zagreb in 2007.
£1.9m
Yes


Dan Eggen
Norwegian central defender signed in 2003 from Spanish club Alaves. Did not appear for the first team.
£68,000
Yes

Sir David Murray

Owned club
Ownership period from 1988-2011 saw club win 15 titles and 26 cups. Sold shares to Craig Whyte for £1.
£6.3m
No


Dick Advocaat
Rangers manager from 1998-2002. Spent almost £74m to win five trophies, including two titles.
£1.5m
No

Douglas Odam
Finance director for 15 years. Left club in 2003 to take up a role within Sir David Murray's business empire.
£119,000
No


Egil Ostenstad
Norwegian forward signed from Blackburn on free transfer in 2003. No goals in the 11 games he played in.
£370,000
Yes

Fernando Ricksen
Dutch right-back signed in 2000 from AZ Alkmaar for £3.75m. Scored 13 times in 182 games. Left in 2006.
£684,225
Yes


Federico Nieto
Argentinian striker joined on loan deal in 2005 from Almagro. Scored once in three matches played.
£24,500
No

Gavin Rae
Midfielder joined Rangers from Dundee in 2004 for a fee of £250,000. Transferred to Cardiff in 2007.
£376,000
Yes


George Adams
Ex-player was head of youth development between 2003-2005. Now director of football at Ross County.
£30,000
No

Graeme Souness
Player/manager of Rangers from 1986-1991. Went on to manage Liverpool, Newcastle and Blackburn.
£30,000
No


Gregory Vignal
French defender joined on loan from Liverpool in 2004 and played 43 times. Joined Portsmouth in 2005.
£173,000
Yes

Ian McGuinness
Ibrox club doctor was sacked after Paul Le Guen left. Moved on to Newcastle United and then joined Aston Villa.
£25,400
Yes


Ian Murray
Midfielder was free transfer from Hibernian in 2006. Played 43 games. Joined Norwich City in 2007.
£95,000
No

Jan Wouters
Former Dutch midfielder joined as a coach under Dick Advocaat, then Alex McLeish. Left in 2006.
£285,000
Yes


Jean-Alain Boumsong
French centre-half joined in 2004 on free transfer. Signed for Newcastle in £8m deal after just 18 games.
£630,000
Yes

Jerome Bonnissel
French left-back who arrived in 2003 from Bordeaux. Played three games before joining Fulham.
£48,000
Yes


Jesper Christiansen
Danish goalkeeper signed in 2000 as injury cover.

Played just three times for Rangers and left in 2004.
£320,000
No

Joel Le Hir
Paul Le Guen appointed physiotherapist from 2006-2007. Now with Le Guen at Oman national team.
£28,275
Yes


John Greig
Played for club from 1961-1978. Went on to manage Rangers from 1978-83. Later became a director.
£40,000
No

John McClelland
Appointed a director in 2000. Was chairman from 2002-2004. Resigned as non-executive director last year.
£225,000
No


Julien Rodriguez
French centre-half signed from Monaco in 2005 for £1m. Played 34 matches then left for Marseille in 2007.
£638,000
Yes

Kevin Muscat
Australian defender joined from Wolves in 2002 on free transfer. Played 22 games. Joined Millwall in 2003.
£1m
Yes


Kris Boyd
Signed from Kilmarnock in 2006 for £500,000. Scored 101 goals. Joined Middlesbrough in 2010.
£215,000
Yes

Libor Sionko
Czech midfielder signed from Austria Vienna in 2006. Played 18 matches. Joined Copenhagen in 2007.
£178,000
Yes


Lorenzo Amoruso
Italian defender cost £4m from Fiorentina in 1997. Moved to Blackburn Rovers for £1.4m in 2003.
£639,000
Yes

Martin Bain
Chief executive of Rangers from 2005-2011. Resigned after David Murray sold club to Craig Whyte for £1.
£249,000
No


Marvin Andrews
Centre-half from Trinidad and Tobago joined from Livingston in 2004. Played 43 matches, scoring four times.
£316,025
Yes

Maurice Ross
Played 78 games for Rangers from 2000-2005, scoring twice before moving to Sheffield Wednesday.
£120,000
No


Michael Ball
English left-back signed from Everton in 2001 for £6.5m. Played 55 games. Joined PSV Eindhoven in 2005.
£1.4m
Yes

Michael Mols
Dutch striker joined Rangers under Dick Advocaat. He arrived in 1999 and spent five years at Ibrox.
£260,000
Yes


Mikel Arteta
Spanish midfielder joined in 2002 and played 50 matches, scoring 12 goals. Moved to Everton.
£674,603
Yes

Nacho Novo
Spanish striker joined in 2004 from Dundee for £450,000. Played 178 games in six years, scoring 47 times.
£1.2m
Yes


Neil McCann
Winger joined from Hearts in 1998 for £2m and played over 100 games. Now a media pundit for Sky Sports.
£500,000
Yes

Nuno Capucho
Portugal winger who arrived in 2003 for £700,000. Featured in 22 games, scoring five goals.
£970,000
No


Olivier Bernard
French defender arrived on a free transfer in 2005 via Lyon and Newcastle. Played nine times.
£224,000
Yes

Paolo Vanoli
Italian left-back joined from Bologna in 2003 and played in 28 matches for Rangers, scoring once.
£592,000
Yes


Paul Le Guen
French manager replaced Alex McLeish in 2006. Left in January 2007 after a string of poor results.
£201,250
Yes

Pedro Mendes
Portuguese midfielder joined in 2008 for £3m. Played 39 games and joined Vitória Guimarães in 2010.
£1m
Yes


Peter Lovenkrands
Danish winger arrived in 2000 from Akademisk Boldklub for £1.3m. Played 129 games and scored 37 times.
£902,000
Yes

Robert Reilly
Robert Reilly was Rangers' commercial director and helped generate income for the Ibrox club.
£105,000
No


Ronald De Boer
Dutch midfielder joined in 2000 under Dick Advocaat. Scored 39 goals in four years for the club.
£1.2m
Yes

Ronald Waterreus
Dutch goalkeeper joined Rangers in 2004 from Manchester City. Played 49 matches for the Ibrox club.
£510,000
Yes


Sasa Papac
Bosnian left-back arrived in 2006 from Austria Vienna for £450,000. Played 161 games. Left in May 2012.
£319,000
Yes

Sotirios Kyrgiakos
Greek centre-half signed from Panathinaikos in 2005. Left in 2006. Played 54 matches and scored once.
£532,200
Yes


Stefan Klos
German keeper signed in 1999 for £800,000. Played over 200 times. Left 2007 to join Bayer Leverkusen.
£2m
Yes

Stephane Wiertelak
French fitness/physiotherapy coach joined Rangers in 2006 under Paul Le Guen. Now works at Rennes.
£28,275
Yes


Steven Davis
Northern Ireland midfielder and club captain. Played more than 140 times, scoring 17 goals for Rangers.
£600,000
Yes

Steven Smith
Defender came through youth ranks and made debut in 2004. Moved to Norwich then on to US side Portland Timbers.
£7,500
No


Steven Thompson
Joined from Dundee Utd in 2003 for £200,000. Left Rangers in 2006 to join Cardiff City.
£485,000
Yes

Tero Penttila
Finnish defender joined in 1999 for £300,000 from Haka Valkeakoski. Left Rangers in 2002 to join HJK Helsinki.
£140,000
No


Thomas Buffel
Belgian midfielder joined in 2005 for £2.3m from Feyenoord. Scored 11 goals and left in 2008.
£1.2m
Yes

Tore Andre Flo
Norwegian striker joined from Chelsea in 2000 for £12m. Scored 39 times for Rangers. Sold for £6.75m to Sunderland in 2002.
£1.3m
No


Yves Colleau
Former French midfielder served as assistant to Paul Le Guen at Rennes, Lyon and Rangers from 2006-2007.
£106,200
Yes

Zurab Khizanishvili
Georgian defender joined on a free transfer from Dundee in 2003. Moved from Rangers to Blackburn Rovers in 2005.
£405,000
Yes

Some really crap players got paid a fortune on these EBT's.

Jungle Bhoy.

We luv em all but,garlar07

24 May 2012 00:59:35
So why now? All of this was stuff was known to all but the most gullible. Football ends last sat