Celtic Banter Archive April 01 2012

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01 Apr 2012 23:30:46
Just for talking sake. If we were to start next year in the english premiership. Who do you think would stay in the stafting 11 and who would be your realistic signing targets ? I would think 2 centre halfs in the mold of Williams from Swansea and Samba previously at blackburn, and a couple of strikers maybe Defoe and Demba Ba. Other than that I think we could hold our own before building some capital and signing some big guns, Van Persie would be my first pick !

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Are you from planet earth? Your going nowhere near the premier league, maybe the Irish premier. Ha.

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The guy was posing a hypothetical question to start a debate you nugget give him a break

bigD

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Aye but Celtic wouldn't be van persies 1st choice.

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Thanks BigD. Indeed the question was hypothetical you muppet. Probably another lost bear with nothing better to do with his time. At least its not spreading stupid rumours such as "a middle east consortium is lining up a bid to buy rankers" like most on your site and indeed in the scottish press. Wake up and smell the coffee. 6 months ago it was "rankers are more than a club, they will never enter administration" then it was "we will never enter liquidation" reality is it is the only option left. No one wants to touch the club with a barge pole ! Anyway rant over. Enjoys the party on sunday Bhoys !

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01 Apr 2012 19:51:36
so big ed whit dae ye think ae ma new bizzo op,
"wee pats penile disfunsional therapy unit fur the penile disfunctioned in posso"?
its gaot a certin ring tae it (thats wan ae the uthur things we treat ) am sure thit this wull be a great wee earnur iz bae ma reckonin hauf ae posso's aewaeys been full ae disfunkshinul d***s anywaey ed so am aff tae ah flyer! plus am jist dyin fur wee timbo tae be the furst wan thru the door,so's ah kin say "rite yul only feel ah little prick!"
n is fur the uthur wan am pritty sure ah kin fix hiz "green jhedi" its actually very commin ed ,iz you very well no ma son!, still goat tae dash ed ma furst circumsishuns in a hoor so ah bettur get ma stanliy nife sterilized bae soakin it in abowl ah buckie.
"cum tae pats its ah snip tae huv ah snip!"whit dae ye think ed ?
plus aw the wee off cuts get sewn the githur tae make haunbags, fur the burds, n that big tranny baino hes aewaeys askin fur a dick bag, ur wiz he mibee talkin abooy wee craigo eithur waey?n thaem 2 fae duff n duffur5 tae they 2 look like thur up tae nae good,so ed get your peepul tae get bak tae ma peepul bfn,
ur sarrie vaderchie iz they say in springburn {Ed007's Note - I won't need any help Pat, cheers for the offer though.}

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Omg. You should be on the telly mate.tears are streaming down my fqce as always( and thats just thinking about your stanley knife)lol.ed.is this guy a genius or what? Keep it up pat,aka billy connolly or kevin bridges.artybhoy {Ed007's Note - He's a something Arty, not sure genius is the word.}

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Aye rite ed ah remembur you askin ma advice no that long ago aboot the green ring roon yur d**k n askin how cum ah goat rid ae ma red ring roon mine, its easy eksplained ed yours wiz the clap, mine wiz lipstik,
n that ma sun iz how ah manidge tae cherge & £50 an oor!
"circos dun while ye wait"
dont jam yur dobbur in the door let the prufeshinuls dae it ( jam it in theyr door ah meen), remembur no joabs too small!" ( unless yur names ed)
its like that ottogless advert oan the telly dont wait untill yur wee crack becums ah big wan ,( n if yur fully comp itl prob be dun fur nuthin tae")
speshul rat es fur oap@S n rangurs supporturs tae iz theyr aw well nown fur bein wee d*cks,
"CUT IT AWAY THE DAY WITHOOT DECAY BEIN DELAYED!" {Ed007's Note - Mine was green lipstick, it was after St Paddy's night remember wee man.}

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THANKS ARTY LOOK FORWURD TAE SEEIN YE OAN WED MOURNIN!" yel notice ah dun yours in 3 stages arty, fk sake thatl make sum manbag wance thur aw stiched the gither,
mibbe evun a wee purse fur the wife,then ye kin get a semi every time she goes intae buy hauf boatul,hey it wurks fur me sarie vaderchie roma

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ED007, are wee Pat's blugs still on Celtic Sightings, looked but could not find them
Timalloy {Ed007's Note - I will try to dig them up Tim.}

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Here thats whit fredo west sade n look whit happint tae hum!!!!!!!

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Pat regarding your prowess with a stanley knife, it puts you on a par with a carpet fitter as both have to have a "flair" for it
LOl Timalloy

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Ah blame that care in a cumyunity,timbo,you need ah check up fae the neck up,if ye waanted ah cood gie ye ah price????
" drains n brains we unplug the lot"
call 01417171 1888 NOW!

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01 Apr 2012 19:07:35
"Mason?" "yes Billy" "er Mason, see these
Americans that have bid for Rangers,
can't remember their name..., are they
genuine Mason?"
"Sports Club 9, Billy and yes they seem
to be"
"Oh good Mason, I liked them, do you
remember their hit Reach for the Stars
Mason or Never had a dream come true
I'm singing them now Mason"
"BILLY!" "that was S Club 7 a totally
different group"...
"Mason, I can see that, they have added
two more band members"....
"BILLY" "for the last time it is a totally
different group"...
"Mason, oh ok then, what songs do
they sing?"...
"AAGGH Billy, they are a SPORTS group
not a POP group"...
"Mason, why are they calling themselves
after S Club 7 then?"...
"Shut up Billy"......
Two bears trying to understand a
takeover bid as told by Timalloy....

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Av goat it the s club 9 ur iz foaliys,
sneezy,dopey,doc, sleepy, bashful, itchy, scratchy,wanky,n good guy,currectimundoe timbo?
wher did they get the dough fae?
mind you look it wee craigo???? nuff sade ah think

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01 Apr 2012 14:16:32
LOL what the hell do I know? ......post about how toothless we are and in the time it takes to send it we're 2-0 up .....ignore everything I say from now on I talk oot my erse lol...........Gerrybhoy

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Watched the game today didnt catch the interviews afterwards did niel lennon say anything about the referee jmgers {Ed007's Note - He said he was glad that Rangers 'charity' match was out of the way as referees could concentrate on football now rather than worrying about complimentary tickets for that and wondering whether they could get Baresi's autograph or not.}

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Thanks for clearing that up ed that was a really good response really witty keep up the smashing work jmgers

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Whos bare ersie?
iz that wee sally?

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Here gerry bhoay kin ye really talk oot yur arse cos if ye kin then av goat wurk lined up fur ye sun!
mind you davo murry used tae dae that n noo aw he talks iz s**te!

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01 Apr 2012 12:48:56
Think you will lift the trophy today then bhoys?
What'd you think the score will be? Let's hear your predictions..

Dtp89

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We cant win the title today mate but i think we will win 3 - 1 davie c

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Meant to say i thot we it would be 3-1 my coupons not looking good lol davie c

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No surprise there then. A Dhim's coupon no looking good. lol
Stevie-A-Bear

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Stevie that wiz nearly a joke!

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01 Apr 2012 12:24:26
Swiss Tony is on our case again with definitive proof that we willingly and knowingly competed in UEFA competitions under a false coefficient gained by Tax dodgers fc and unregistered players playing in the National team he claims to have every quote by our legends that claimed to have knew about TAX DODGERS FC crimes. Will UEFA listen to this madman ? I know they will listen to him prattle on but will they take any action?

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01 Apr 2012 07:47:50
McCoist feels the decision was harsh on the winger: �I went to see Iain after the game and he was great. We had a chat about it and he saw it as simulation so he booked Sone.

I was wondering if this was Neil Lennon would the referee even have given him an audience. McCoist talks like they are old pals having a chat about the game and the decisions made, it's never ending.

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McCoist is a creep he makes me want to throw up. He in an insincere type.

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Not ANOTHER persecuted wee soul, for god's sake give it a rest.

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At least the manager of CFC is not a press crawler.

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01 Apr 2012 08:44:21
I would be delighted with Richard Dunne, he is exactly what we need. He would be die hard, something we are missing! When was the last time you seen a Celtic defender win a header with any conviction? This guy would put everything and anything infront of a striker to make sure they don't score!

If Lenny was ever to leave I'd take Mick McCarthy as well! He would adopt the Martin O'Neill approach...10 huge guys that bully!

Chico19

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Why dont we just pick the 11 hardest men in the crowd and play them if all you want your team to do is be bullies , ,,, deep river bhoy

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Here hiz wee bruv neily dunns aplayur n aw!

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01 Apr 2012 08:24:57
Good Morning ED007, got a very interesting
phone call last night from my American
relatives about Club 9 who are bidding
for Rangers, according to gossip over
there if they are successful and emerge
with a new formed Rangers they intend
to offer NEIL LENNON the managers
job in order to prove they have moved
away from the old club's poor reputaion
a club 9 spokesman Al Forpilo is quoted
as saying "we have noted the great
work Mr Lennon has done, and also
being a new formed club we want to
try and attract some Celtic fans to
follow us, Mr Lennon as manager will
also help us with our profile in USA among
the Irish fans based over here"
Very interesting news! Timalloy

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Here timbo huv you been it the "posso brekkie agane " the buckfast fizz?,it nevur fails tae delivur ,ur mibbeeeeits jist the date? anywaey sun hows your "wee problum " bearin up? ( ur no if ye catch ma drift),shhhhh yur d**k problums safe wae me a wulnae huv a bad wurd sade aboot the fakt thit ye canny get a staunur son !, trust me limpo if ye evur need help wae yur disfukshinul peniz then jist gies a call.. 01417171 1888,
ur jist send us a sperm sample, in an auld broon envelope tae
the low sperm coont klinik,
13 ( unlucky fur sum) blank st,
jaffashire,

oh n pit yur name n adress oan the frunt in case it gets loast in the poast, ( ah bit like yur spermos eh )
hey n this time pit it intae a wee jiffy bag( no jaffa bag)
iz ah coodnae get the auld envalope opun the last time plus ye dont waant tae be lickin it tae try n stick it the githur agane,
ps wee alloy oor bestist wishiz go oot tae yur famuly it this sad momint,speshully yur wife allice alloy!
pps if ah kin be uv any assistunce durin this daurk hoor tell yur missus tae bring a cargo n a curry roon tae ma luv shak in posso n ahl try tae skweez hur in,fur sum eftur care nae need tae thank me timbo its aw pert ae the servis,
pps ah sine oan oan tues so that coonts that day oot rite?
pps oan weds am recuraratin fae tues,
pppps oan thurs ma day aff,
pppppps fri, sat, sun ,mun,are aw ma "sarry heid" days bit any uthur days yur mer thin welcum sun bbfn
let the baw see the bag

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HAHA! what date is this?????????

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Ssssssssssssssshh.

davybhoy ktf

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Ha ha Pat, even my joke posts are upstaged by your good self, LOL Timalloy

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Just noticed that 7 people disagreed with my original post, hope all of you worked out my "Al Forlipo" anagram I know you are all far too clever to have been caught out.........
LOL Timalloy

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Aye timbo thatl be the s club 7,
hee fkn haw!

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Aye okay Thimbo you caught us all out with that one mate, what a clever wee chappie you are. Stevie-A-Bear

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