Celtic Banter Archive January 14 2013

14 Jan 2013 22:08:25
Handsomely rewarded, where did you get 10 million from ? No name & a Muppet oh wait do you work in the Scottish msm, keevins is it or some other apologist for the deady bears ? Jog on. We paid about 2m & if we receive double or treble that is a handsome profit. AbS

Apologies Ed 007, my previous post was meant for a thread earlier today. The no name poster made reference to cloud cuckoo land, obviously a deady bear as all Celtic supporters know that particular land is now full of deady bears & glinty green is the commander & chief! AbS {Ed007's Note - No probs Abs.}

14 Jan 2013 20:29:48
Ed some new jokes for the pot. (trying to keep the sporting theme)

Imagine if Alex Ferguson's claims that a stray ball hitting somebody in the head being deadly were true?
As most of Emile Heskey's shots ended up in the stands, he could have gone down in history as not just the worst striker ever, but also the worlds most prolific mass murderer.


Sir Alex Ferguson has denied Howard Webb's special treatment of Man Utd and said he'd given more cards out to his players than any other team. He further added ..
"The Birthday and Christmas cards to the whole squad are a nice touch."


Nearly 100 years ago today, the Germans & British troops brought a temporary ceasefire to the Great War and had a game of football out on no-man's land.
The fighting resumed when somebody was killed after being hit on the head with the football.


David Beckham has released a statement saying he has no plans to play football in Australia.
He said after watching The Sound of Music, he doesn't fancy the place.


Celtic were rumored to be interested in Emile Heskey-
Emile Heskey (England) 59 caps, 7 goals.
Rene Higuita (Colombia) 68 caps, 8 goals.
Jose Luis Chilavert (Paraguay) 74 caps, 8 goals.
Unfortunately, the other two are goalkeepers...


Whenever I order a MacDonalds drive through I like to pretend I'm Harry Redknapp talking to the press.


I for one, hope we stick to our guns and react to any invasion of the Falkland Islands with a show of extreme force so that the Argentines feel compelled to react accordingly.
Then, with any luck, if Celtic (after eliminating Juve) draw Barcelona in the Champions League that little person Messi might boycott the game.

TinyTim

15 Jan 2013 02:22:49
Woke the husband up laughing at some of those lol

Kisy

I am puzzled as to how anyone can hit the disagree button. It's just jokes not reality. If you disagree someone actually found one or two funny..must have nothing better to do.
TinyTim

14 Jan 2013 18:23:46
Who cares! There's only one league we should be worrying about and that's the champions league. So as long as we're top of any structure we shouldn't care how many teams we have to beat to get there

Totally agree. How comical is it to hear Chuckles propose a 14-14-14 league set up.......if my calculations are correct this would mean that if The Rangers win the league this year, they will be the best team of the bottom 10 therefore in the bottom 14 teams in Scotland.......they would then have to play the SAME teams all over again ! Surely Chuckles isn't proposing that the this happens.....is this not exactly what Sally and Chuckles were complaining about . Lol

Markiebhoy

14 Jan 2013 14:12:39
Having been reading Hooper's supposed refusal to sign a new contract, the whole situation leaves me feeling rather depressed at the modern day footballers attitudes. Obviously, as Celtic fans, we have to be wary of what the SMM print as there is a clear agenda, but that's for another day... What I'm saying is it is clear Hooper has been offered around 25k a week to play for us yet is refusing! Seriously?! The average fan is struggling to get by yet you have people(footballers) with no understanding of the value of money; who refuse 25k a week! I'm not just saying thi snow due to recent events, but Hooper is vastly overrated. Yes, he has scored some fantastic goals, but is incredibly lazy and has cut an unhappy figure in recent times. Let's put things into perspective here, Hooper is that indispensible he isn't even the top scorer in the SPL-that accolade goes to Leigh Griffiths. The latter is not a patch on Hooper, yet has perhaps shown more desire? I know one of the ED'S has agreed with me on my opinions on Hooper and it has become obvious he does not want to be here. If that is the case, I just hope Lennon and Lawell ain't begging him to stay. Let's see how Gary gets on at Norwich or another mediocre English team. I'' give him two years and he'll be playing in the Championship once again.

Sadly it all comes down to money, especially when you are dealing with a non Celtic fan in a shirt.While £25k is a fantastic wage by any standard £40k is much better.You have to remember that Hooper is English, maybe he just wants to go home? We are also a well run club on a sound financial footing, you start paying out over the odds and the next player in wants more etc, etc.I also agree with you that he does seem a bit lacklustre at times, possibly playing the same teams four times a season is boring him, as i said he is not a born Celtic fan. When the bids come in it will be interesting to see from what clubs.i suspect Hoops and his agent might be surprised.........green jhedi

Hey no name vastly over rated ? Turn it up ! We shall be handsomely rewarded & best of luck to him if & when he does go no name poster .AbS

Has hooper not been the top scorer, or joint over the last couple of seasons. You mention griffiths, his antics at a few games would have had him bumped from the team IMO. In hooper you have a silent assassin in some games, you don't see them playing great, they look lazy then bang, goal (like Suarez, Aguaro etc). I also think you should count his goals by the end of the season. If he moves, good luck to him, I personally think he has done well for us.

Vambo

Handsomely rewarded ?? if you think we are going to get 10 million for a spl players in the last year of his contract then your living in cuckoo land we have lost better players to the epl for less

He's not in the last year of his contract mate! At the start of next season he will be going into his last year. But i agree with you on the price. We will end up getting no more than 5.5 million for him. Great finisher, but nowhere near the complete player, two of his flaws being his commitment and will to win. Then you have lazy, sulky, no good with his head and has become timid in the tackle. Good luck to him, but if he ends the season at Celtic i would bet good money that the Scottish cup winners medal he gets will be the last major trophy he ever wins as a professional footballer.

@ 5 the point i meant was if he goes at the end of the season he will be going into the last year i doubt we would get five million when clubs know they can wait six month and sign him on a pre but even so we paid 2.4 million for him if he wants to go i would sell him now we don't need him for spl is it worth losing a couple of million for the sake of two games in the champions league where he has hardly set the games on fire when he's played in them he's done a job but no better than the others

14 Jan 2013 12:50:24
All this talk about Hooper, I have no problem with him going in the summer. Celtic still hold all the aces, we can simply keep him for a further year of his contract or accept probably £5m for him, still a profit on what we got him for, plus his goals have helped us win cups and titles.
In the summer I would go for Jordan Rhodes as a direct replacement who will cost all of Hooper fee plus maybe a bit more in wages £25k+ Timalloy

PS as we are all missing wee Pat's post..
let us cheer the other "Pats" the New England Patriots who are on their way to New Orleans once they dispose of Baltimore.
GO PATS...

Tim i'd like to help but i'll not budge my unweavering support for the Possil Park Pat Riots. Bless yer guid name Padre (whurever ye are). pea

25k + Timalloy?So just over 25k then?

Jungle Bhoy.

14 Jan 2013 12:17:02
A quick question for all the Bhoys and Ghirls. Does one of the biggest clubs in Europe sell it's stadium naming rights for £1.5m up front with another £1m staggered payment? Or would it be more likely that a club, with no credit facility and outgoings exceeding their incomings, see cash flow as a problem and need a quick fix? Imagine if said club stated in their share prospectus they were debt free, a fact that one month later was proved to be false, and had seemingly no way of increasing their income next season despite wild claims from their CEO. I would suggest said club looked like a basket case.Your thoughts peeps.........green jhedi

GJ, I have no problem in theory with renaming the stadium but not Sports Direct Arena and not for £1.5m and the other £1m is only dependant on certain targets being made.

No, it would have to be worth selling the naming rights and nothing tacky.

CG's yet again takes the p*** as he is on shouting and bawling about fans having a say, well from what I've heard they are opposed to this and most definitely at £1.5m ! Talk about selling your soul for a few shillings

He's hawking Rangers to anyone willing to give him a dime and your right GJ, I would be concerned ~ Mrs E

This is a 3year deal also is it not ? £830k per year ?... can't see Ashley shelling out 2.5 per year ?...Very poor return on on of "Europes top 12 teams"...TTTS

@Mrs E; That was going to be my next question, what would we accept? Initially i would be dead against it but, if it drove us forward and was worldwide, blue chip company i think we would have to think long and hard.The name is also vital, heritage and tradition would need to be respected.I would also expect, at current rates at least £2.5-3m per year...........green jhedi

14 Jan 2013 15:48:07
Mrs E, GJ they could do a deal with Greigs (or other hot food outlets) and sell only their food and in return rename the ground PIEBROX. Stipulation being that everybody pays for pies etc even jabba and sally turnover £5m yearly easy ( £2m jabba, £2m sally and £1m the other 45,000) Timalloy

How about
"Ashley's Sports Direct Arena"
or ASDA for short ?

Paddy Malarkey

Well the shirt sponsorship is worth near £2m a year is not so I would be expecting similar.

It would have to be, as you say, in keeping with Celtic and the traditions. Like Ed007's April fool “ Guinness?

I wonder though, do Nike have anything to do with the stadium as their logo is on the seats etc ?

Newcastle fans hated the Sports Direct ˜adverts' to the point there was criminal damage. They were branded ˜tacky'

Mrs E

GJ i would be appalled and embarrassed to rename celtic park, the sports direct arena, its the primark of sports wear gear that in itself is an embarrassment, and for a measley 1.5 million for 3 years? Now lets say we went down that route and i wouldn't be against it, say guinness offered to rename celtic park, i'd say atleast 5 million a year something like the nike contract would be good business for 3 or 4 years get 20 million into the coffers then rename it back to celtic park a great bit of business all round. Chucky moonbeam would be foaming at the mouth like bullmastiff on heat, surely that alone would be worth it lol Belfastbhoy

I think the advantage we have (or to be more accurate one of 'many') is that Celtic Park is often known as Parkhead, Paradise etc, and although Celtic Park is it's official name, I know people who only call it Parkhead, or Paradise- because that's what they know it as. So let's say Guinness did buy the naming rights. It could be Guiness Park, or The Guiness Arena- but it could still be called Parkhead, or Paradise.

With Ibrox, other than Castle GreySkull (barrum bum bum), there is no real alternate. So, if it does indeed become The Sports Direct Arena, yeah it can be referred to as Ibrox, but the difference is, that will be in almost 'defiance', as opposed to simply calling it by another of it's names.

The other problem I see with that particular scenario is that we earn more from our kit deal. So if you could earn more by splashing it on your kit, I see little advantage to quite literally stamping it all over your Stadium. This couple with the fact that, as mentioned above, Sports Direct really is the Primark of Sports wear. It's not blue chip- more like soggy chip- so it has an almost cringe value.

I wouldn't have a problem with Celtic Park rebranding, as long as it was something in keeping with the Club.

On another note, I would much rather it was call Magner's Park/Arena and keep sponsors off the kits- I love the hoops with no sponsor- but I know that won't happen!

Rangers and Charles Green however are probably investigating the possibility of the South American sponsorship model- where there are more on the shirt. Then it's a case of forget about sponsors, why not just charge the fans an annual fee to have their names on the kit. 100 banger a year, 40,000 fans (I'll go with what we know, as opposed to Chuckie's ludicrous claims) is 4 million per year.

I can see them now:

Stevie
Jamie
Rab fae Govan
WATP
Etc Etc.

A fortune to be had for them.

The Patient

14 Jan 2013 03:04:45
Seems our esteemed edd007 deserves a round of applause and a few apologies over the hole Hooper story. Been on the money and spot on for nearly a year. good stuff big man keep up the good work

I believed Ed007 all along, it was very obvious Norwich cannot afford him and can only assume most the rumours were from the arrogant English who believe the EPL is the best league in the world. I have no doubt Hooper does want to move to England but doubt its for a knock down price.

They are still trying to justify why there are no players from the EPL in the Ballon D'or Team of the Year ~ Mrs E

The EPL is dominated by foreign players on ludicrous sums of money, which mean average British players being paid laughable amounts for being in the same team! Looking through the EPL pretty much every teams best player, or MVP if you like, are foreigners. Rooney and Gerrard where up there but have been overtaken, in my opinion, by Van Persie and Suarez.Every tournament the press go into meltdown describing how this is the time England will win it, forgetting that if you removed the foreign players their league would be pretty average..........green jhedi

@Green Jhedi. Just like the best players in scotland Hooper, Wanyama, Ledley and Forster are foreigners and in Spain where the top 3 clubs best players are from argentina, portugal and colombia... It happens everywhere, unfortunately that's football these days.

P.S. I don't think the EPL is the best league in the world in case my post came across that way.

BigBear